


Favorite Stranger

by echoist



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, M/M, Oto Country, liquid courage, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-07
Updated: 2010-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-09 08:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoist/pseuds/echoist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The obligatory "Drunk in Ōto" fic.  Fay has too much sake and adrenaline in his blood to have any idea what he wants, and Kurogane should really know better by now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Favorite Stranger

 

_It is most absurdly said...of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety._

~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater

 

  


        _That's it_, Kurogane thought, clutching his head. One drink of the liquor his companions were tossing back like water had muddled his thoughts quite enough; the raucous sounds of their shenanigans echoed around the cafe and out into the neighborhood, where sane, decent people were trying to sleep. “Enough of this bullshit,” he announced, striding across the room to where Sakura was curled up in Fay's lap like a kitten. She meowed in protest as he slung her over his shoulder, feet kicking ineffectually at the air. 

        “You are all going to bed.” Silencing Fay's attempted retort with a sharp glare, he carried the inebriated girl down the hallway and into her bedroom. “You can find your pajamas yourself,” he muttered, removing her shoes and apron before dumping the girl unceremoniously on a pile of blankets.

        “Goodnight, Big Doggy,” she murmured in a sing-song voice, sounding alarmingly like the morally bankrupt wizard responsible for this mess. “G'night, kid,” he muttered, ruffling her hair as she fell back against the pillows, already half-asleep. Pulling the door shut behind him, he headed in the direction of the common room to sort out the others before making his own way to bed. A small shape smacked against him in the dark corridor and stumbled past, fumbling with the knob at Sakura's door.

        “That,” Kurogane corrected, placing his hands on Syaoran's shoulders, “is not your room.” Opening the next door along the wall, he ushered the boy inside and closed the door firmly behind him with a sigh. _Kids._ It was lucky they had been able to find a place to stay with enough rooms for everyone this time; between the way the brat tossed and turned all night and the snores Fay generated completely sober, it was a wonder he ever slept at all. 

        He paused on the threshold of the cafe proper, leaning against the swinging door to hold it open. Fay had collapsed across the sofa, eyes closed, chin tilted up towards the dim, hooded lanterns suspended above. He hummed softly, under his breath, and Kurogane couldn't quite make out the oddly-familiar melody. Slender fingers moved at his throat, stroking slowly down to the open buttons at his collar. Kurogane saw the alleyway rise around him, felt the scabbard in his hand as if it were still there.

_        “_It's your fault I have to buy a new sword tomorrow,” Kurogane complained loudly, retrieving several empty bottles from the floor. Tossing them in a bin, he avoided looking back at the mage and moved on to clearing away the cups scattered helter-skelter about the room.

        “Mmm,” Fay muttered, arm dangling off the cushions. “Kuro-rin is so brave.”

        Kurogane snorted. “They were just demons, nothing to get all worked up about.”

        “You say that now,” the wizard drawled, lazily opening one eye. “But you seemed pretty 'worked up' at the time.” One long finger slid up and down the length of his throat, a knowing smirk playing about his lips.

        Kurogane felt his cheeks flush at the insinuation and dumped the collection of dishes in the sink with a clatter. Liquid sloshed in the last bottle he retrieved from atop the bar, and he tossed down the fiery sake with a grunt. _Better than letting it go to waste_, he rationalized, trying to banish the wizard's sly grin from his mind. He hadn't thought anything could make Fay more intolerable, but this evening had proved the lie of that assumption.

        “I don't plan on letting you die any time soon, if that's what you mean,” Kurogane muttered under the sudden rush of water from the faucet. He took his time cleaning each dish, hoping the wizard would fall asleep before he finished the chore. He didn't trust the drunkard mage to find his own way to bed on an injured ankle and _that_ was a mess the ninja wanted no part of in the morning.

        He folded the towel, cups laid out in a row across the counter. The room was in order; he couldn't keep avoiding the last thing that needed to be set to rights. Fay lay curled around a throw pillow, eyes closed, chest rising and falling with the soft, even rhythm of sleep. Kurogane breathed a sigh of relief and crossed the floor to the couch, dimming the lights over the tables as he passed. A low, humming sound floated out across the darkened space, something between a purr and a song and Kurogane cursed under his breath. _Of course he isn't asleep, _the ninja thought sourly. _That would have been too easy. _

        “Is Kuro-rin going to tuck me into bed?” the wizard asked with a coy smile, holding out his arms like a child expecting to be picked up. Kurogane gave a long-suffering sigh and slipped his hands beneath the mage, lifting him slowly, more gently than he had intended. Fay flung his arms around the warrior's neck, gratified to feel a swiftly indrawn breath against his cheek. Kurogane's feet found a path; one step, and then another, down the interminable hallway that seemed to have gotten darker since he put the kids to bed. One of Fay's hands ruffled through his hair while the other -

        The other slipped down the front of his kimono, brushing the layers aside to reach his skin. Kurogane stopped, adjusted the wizard's weight onto one arm, and used the other to firmly remove the adventurous hand from his clothing. “Stop that,” he admonished, keeping a tight grip on Fay's wrist.

        “Mm,” the wizard murmured against his neck. “Kuro-rin is so strong.”

        Kurogane scoffed. “I will drop you right here and let you find your own way to bed.”

        “I'll just follow you to _your _room, Kuro-chan,” the wizard asserted, voice muffled as his lips pressed against the soft skin just below the ninja's ear. Fay's tongue flicked out, tracing patterns like trails of fire down his neck and Kurogane stumbled, shoulder grazing the wall. He was used to the wizard's flirtations, even mostly inured to the ridiculous pet names, but this -

        This was a different animal and Kurogane had to force himself to breathe. He could give in to the mage's insistent affections; press his back against the wall and slowly, slowly, teach him what “worked up” really meant. He could blame everything on the liquor and conveniently pretend not to remember in the morning. He could...

        “Stop it,” Kurogane growled. “You're drunk.”

        Fay raised his head just far enough to speak, blowing warm air across a patch of goosebumps. “No, I'm not,” he drawled cheerfully as the sensation sent a shiver down the ninja's spine. “I don't get drunk.” Kurogane released his grip on the magician's wrist to grab him by the collar, pulling him forcibly back to arm's length.

        “You're wrong,” Kurogane corrected sternly.

        “I haven't been drunk since - “ Fay left off abruptly, all mirth vanishing from the air. His hands fell to his sides, frame limp and unresisting in Kurogane's grasp.

        “Since when?” Kurogane asked, the words out of his mouth before he could reconsider. He should be trying to get the damned fool to bed, not standing around asking the sort of questions he wasn't likely to have answered.

        “It was a long time ago,” Fay replied, his tone at once wistful and sad. “I was trying to forget something then, too.”

        Kurogane swallowed the lump in his throat and steered the morose magician into the open doorway of his bedroom. Moonlight filtered in through a thin set of curtains, illuminating the room. Kurogane found a set of pajamas, neatly folded on a chair and tossed them at the mage. Fay stared down at the material, eyes dull and empty, as if wondering what to do with them.

        “You'll be more comfortable sleeping in those, I'm sure,” Kurogane suggested, one hand on the door.

        “I didn't ask you to use that power,” Fay said quietly, apropos of nothing. “I didn't ask you to break your sword for me.”

        Kurogane turned back around in surprise. “What?”

        “You said it was my fault,” Fay continued, voice wandering in the dark like a tightrope walker losing his balance. “But, you know, I never asked you to be my shield.” The moonlight transformed his smile into a fox-like mask, eyes cheerfully shut against the warrior's reaction.

        Anger knotted in Kurogane's stomach, burning its way out through his mouth. “Now wait just a goddamn minute - “

        “Unless, of course, Kuro-daddy was only talking about Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan, in which case...”

        “That's not what I - “

        “Do you want to protect me, Kuro-tan? Even though I'm the sort of person you can't stand?” The smiling mask held, inscrutable, as Fay's hands unfastened the buttons on his starched white shirt, one by one.

            “Will you let me finish a sentence?” Kurogane snapped, the wizard's smile faltering at his tone. “Don't ask me questions if you don't want to hear the answers.” He stared at the floor, arms crossed, trying not to see the path moonlight traced across the wizard's skin. Like it or not, he was stuck with these jokers and if he didn't protect them -

    The thought of finding his way back to Nihon Country alone settled cold and heavy into his chest. For all they drove him crazy, for all the devious wizard's pranks and mischief and incorrigible behavior, he had begun to think of them as family. Unconventional, to be sure; dysfunctional at the best of times, but a family nevertheless. Mokona's jokes aside, it seemed harder everyday to ignore the roles they were falling into, and the truth behind the game.

        “That's a change, isn't it?” Fay said with a hint of quiet laughter as his shirt slid to the floor, abandoned. “Usually it's Kuro-puppy that doesn't want to hear what _I _have to say.”

        Kurogane watched Fay's slow, hesitant steps toward the bed, nightclothes forgotten in a pile at his feet and mentally tallied up the number of bottles he had thrown away. It was impossible to tell which was the act, playful drunk or insightful jester. Fay was a walking contradiction, a jumbled dichotomy of truth and fiction and the liminal space between. A year ago, Kurogane could never have acknowledged such a place existed, but now he walked the roads as if the destination was his own. As if somewhere along the line, he had made a choice.

        He knew the childish names and blatant teasing pushed away the truth of it_. _The way Fay could read his face and tell exactly what he was thinking; how every night, Kurogane understood more and more of what the wizard spoke aloud in his sleep.

        “I always hear you,” Kurogane replied evenly. _Even when you lie. _

        Fay stumbled as the words hung in the air, knees buckling as too much weight rested on his injured ankle. Kurogane's arms slipped around the wizard's waist before he even thought about moving, skin cool and smooth beneath his fingers. Fay sank against him with a quiet sigh, resting his head on the warrior's shoulder and Kurogane focused on keeping his hands safely in one place. He should move, Kurogane thought, set the mage back on his feet before he got any ideas, before either one of them got any ideas -

        But the mingled scents of frosting and alcohol rose up from him in a flood, sharply familiar, and Kurogane stayed exactly where he was.

        “I'm a bad luck charm,” Fay whispered. “I've never brought anything but misfortune to - “

        “Stop,” Kurogane interrupted. Fay was utterly still, arms tucked between him and the warrior as if he could gather the strength to push away. “You have to choose whether to live in the past or the present,” Kurogane continued. “I meant every word I've ever said to you, but I can only carry you so far. I can't protect you from ghosts that I can't see.”

        Fay pulled back, hands pressed against Kurogane's chest. “I never asked you to protect me,” Fay countered, pale hair a curtain across his eyes.

        “Yes, you did,” Kurogane whispered fiercely, surprising them both. “I'm not blind, and you're not half so clever as you'd like to think.” Fay's head snapped up, eyes wide. “You left your world behind; you gave up the most important thing you had to throw your lot in with ours. Every time you look at me like that, every time you say my name in your sleep, you're asking me to stay.”

        Fay backed away, wincing at the stab of pain from his ankle. Kurogane grabbed his wrist, refusing his escape. “What did you say to me in that bar?” He held the wizard's gaze, watched pain and regret flicker darkly in his eyes. “What did you say just now?”

        “Does it matter?” Fay asked, a wicked gleam in his eye. “I'm drunk, after all. You said so.”

        “Tch,” Kurogane muttered. “Never thought I'd call your bluff, did you? Drunk or not, you act like I'm made of stone; you can't keep pushing and pushing and expect me never to react.”

        “The truth is, Kuro-pon,” Fay answered smoothly, arranging the lies like flowers in a vase. “I was just playing around.” He shrugged, corners of his lips turning up in an apologetic smile. “After all, your wish is to go back home, to your princess. There's no place for someone like me in your plans.”

        Fay bit his lip before he continued, smile fading into the gloom. “You were safe, that's all.”

        “Keep telling yourself that.” Kurogane relaxed his grip on the wizard's arm and stepped back, his face calm and disinterested. He didn't believe a word, but Kurogane supposed it didn't really matter; he recognized a dismissal when he heard one. He turned and headed back towards the door, footsteps loud in the silence. “Don't sleep too late; you've got a business to run.”

        Fay sank to the floor, shadows pooling thick beside the bed. He wiped at his eyes with the shirttail crumpled in his hands, clenched his fists and forced his shoulders to stop shaking. It had been nice, curled up with Sakura-chan, basking in the warmth spreading slowly out from the sake on his tongue. Almost as if they were any normal family, in any normal world, enjoying an evening together.

_        Most families wouldn't spike their kids' drinks_, he reminded himself, a chuckle breaking through the tears. You've let them in, he admonished himself, all of them, knowing what it would mean in the end. You have no one to blame but yourself. Fay hung his head, quiet laughter fading, too absorbed in his own recriminations to hear the soft footsteps making their way back across the floor.

        Kurogane's arms wrapped around him, strong and solid. “I know I'm going to regret this when you push me away again,” the warrior murmured against his ear. “But that doesn't seem to matter very much right now.”

        “Kuro-tan,” Fay reproached, as though scolding a disobedient puppy. “Why did you – why are you - “

        “Do you really need me to say it?” Hope mingled with something like resignation in Kurogane's tone. A slow, hesitant thought unwound in the wizard's mind, offering the possibility that life was not just something to be endured.

        Fay shook his head, _No_. “Just stay with me,” he begged, voice a whisper in the heavy stillness.

        “I'm not going anywhere.” Kurogane lifted him off the floor and set him gently on the bed, turning back the thin summer blanket. Fay could hear a rustle of fabric as the warrior untied the belts holding his hakama in place, felt the mattress sink as Kurogane lay beside him. He slipped an arm across Fay's waist, pulled him close as he made a wall between the two of them and the outside world.

        “When your hangover wears off, when you can think clearly,” Kurogane paused, making an effort to still his restless fingers against the wizard's chest. “When it's the middle of an ordinary day; if you still want me, just tell me.”

        “I promise,” Fay whispered, covering Kurogane's hand with his own.

 

 

_I'll be your sword, I'll be your shield_

_I'll be your favorite stranger;_

_I'll be the mortar holding your walls._

\- Sword and Shield, Sister Hazel__

9/10/1008_  
_

 

 


End file.
